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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Dan Landis' Top Ten Tips for Single Awareness Day: Brought to you by the Blindsighted Wanderer Tour

This week I thought I'd let the resident expert on relationships post a special blog for Valentine's Day.





Give it up for the one and only Dan Landis.

This is not Dan Landis. This is Justin Tully.

Hello Ladies, 

As you know, today is Valentine’s Day. Or as every single girl I know, and I have quite a few single lady friends, call it: Single Awareness Day. Well to that I say, it’s time to be single no longer. And guys, if you’re single, then this Bud’s for you, too. 

Dan Landis’ Top 10 Tips for not being single after Valentine’s Day


1) Go online. The week after Valentine’s is the biggest boost for online dating sites. To put it in Lady Language, it’s like Black Friday, except it lasts for like a month. Trust me, I’m a detective who specializes in infidelity. Also I investigate cheaters. 

 Remember ladies: A disembodied hand is only a few clicks away.

2) Check your friends list. You know what every guy secretly dreams of doing? Besides seducing Swedish super-model cheerleading twins? Getting out of the Friendzone! If you don’t know what the Friendzone is, look it up. You’ll probably be online looking up E-Harmony or Plenty of Fish or Ashley Madison. Lycos that bad boy.

And the view count just went up.

 3) Join a gym. You know what the best part of meeting people at a gym is? They’re all in shape! Or if they’re not in shape, they’re at least trying to be. Just think ladies, it’s a bunch of sexy sweating men who are willing to change. All they need is someone who will see them as a project.


I am vengeance! I am the night! I AM A LIBRA!

4) Take up a hobby. Take up hiking, glee club, theater group…pretty much anything that has mixed company. The important thing is that you’re learning a new skill while having a common interest with complete strangers. It’s a win-win. Unless you’re a Mime. No one dates a Mime. Unless that Mime is Doug Jones.


5) Hit 'em where they ain't. “Wee Willie” Keeler, the famous baseball player used to say ‘Keep your eye clear, and hit ‘em where they ain’t.’ Now he was talking about knocking the ball where there wasn’t a catcher, but I’m here to tell you, single ladies and gents, you got to go where there isn’t a lot of competition. If you’re a lady, try sports. Sports are awesome. Anyone can enjoy a baseball game. It’s America’s pastime. And trust me, even a minor league team like the Tides will be swimming with men.  Guys, you want to find ladies, take up a cooking class. You can meet beautiful, or at least moderately attractive women, and learn how to make Haute Cuisine. 

 A man who can make a three-piece chocolate dessert is a man who will never be single for long.


6) Suit up! If there’s one thing that Neil Patrick Harris has taught us, it’s that there’s nothing better than a suit. You want to get attention, you got to dress for attention. Look good, you’ll feel good, and nothing’s a stronger aphrodisiac then confidence. Well, besides Spanish Fly.


7) Dip your toe into the company pool. Nothing beats a little a good old fashioned office romance. Just take my advice, aim for the single people. You’re dating a co-worker, there’s no point in making it more complicated.

 Just remember, there's a fine line between playful flirting and a meeting with HR.

8) Nerds need love too! Don’t forget ladies, there are plenty of single nerds and geeks out there. They usually have stable jobs, are passionate about their hobbies, and trust me they have a fanatical attention to detail. Think about that for a minute: You’re going to be in a relationship with someone who will memorize all your cheat codes. Instant win every time.



9) Physician, heal thyself. Don’t forget, the common factor in every bad relationship you’ve had was you. Maybe do a self-evaluation, and work on bettering yourself. You never know when that special someone will come along, when the next person you meet might be your soul mate. Or at least a fun weekend in Vermont.

 David Tennant: Always up for a fun weekend in Vermont.

10) Reading is SEXY! Now, if you’re really looking to make yourself attractive, why not expand your horizons with a little Young Adult reading. 



The Wall has long kept Elitland Valley safe from the demons on the other side. For centuries the villagers have avoided speaking of the Wall or the creatures it protects them from.

Upon their return from the annual Country Fayre, the older Atego brothers learn of their father’s passing. When fifteen year old Silas Atego learns the mysterious illness that took his father might have been a curse from a demon, his need for answers draws him to the one place he must not go. The far side of the Wall.

When Silas is still missing days later, his older brother Raphael sets out on his own to bring him home. On his journey, Raphael learns how it was his ancestor who was cursed by a demon creature from the Lake and had the Wall built to keep them out. More desperate than ever to find his brother, his search draws Raphael to the same terrifying barrier.

Along the brothers’ individual travels they face their greatest fears, make lifelong friends, and more importantly, learn the truth of what happened centuries ago.


Blindsighted Wanderer is a tale about how truth and forgiveness will set you free. Where myths are transformed to legends that last a lifetime. The brothers leave their home as desperate boys but return to their family as honorable men.

Blindsighted Wanderer is a young adult fantasy, coming of age story appropriate for readers 12 +.

Author Bio:

E. C. Hibbs has lived all her life in Cheshire, north-west England. A lover of stories from an early age, she wrote her first 'book' when she was five, and throughout school was a frequent visitor to the younger classes to read her tales to the children.

Living so near the coast, she loves anything to do with the sea. She studied Animal Behaviour at university and longs to work with marine mammals in the future. As well as nature and animals, she also has a soft spot for history, and loves paying visits to castles, cathedrals and museums.

There are many things she could be without, but writing isn't one of them. She carries a pen everywhere, in case an idea appears, and takes pride in still seeing the world as brimming with magic. Besides writing, she reads obsessively, her favourite genres being the classics and all kinds of fantasy. She also enjoys Disney and horror films, practising Shotokan karate, drawing, archery, and playing with her very cheeky kitten.

Links for ECHibbs:


 
This blog is part of the Blindsighted Wanderer tour brought to you by Tam's Book Blog

4 comments:

  1. You kill me! You really need to post more often. The world needs more harmless insanity!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Way to go Emma!

    And for the record #5 works pretty good. In Canada it really helps to be a woman who can apeak hockey. Just walk into the bar and say something like "Hey did anyone catch the game last night? What's with Koivu?" and you'll have to beat them off with a stick.

    ReplyDelete